You know I wonder what really keeps me going. But you know what. Nobody. Absolutely nobody but me. Yeah I accept assistance along the way but you know what, still. Love me for who I really am, and accept who I will become, for if you don’t do so, or alter your personality for the worse, you will be forcefully struck with the powerful bolt of life, striking down harder than ever on those who will continue to suffer around me. But hey, I’m just thinking at night right?
And as soon as it’s all gone, I wanna take it all back and then I realize I’m hurting more than just myself. I’m not in a state of mind, nor location in my life I’d like to live through. I’m faithful to those I’ve given love to, and the prized possession, the love of my life who’s failed to find her inner core to the world of her usual self. My philosophy is to try and fix and give help where I feel it’s necessary, yet I fail and worsen the situation like the agitation of a scab upon an elbow. The conflict is done with, yet the result is simply an illusion for the fighting and impatience to be over, but I’ve fallen into a securely sealed box of my identity and whom I’ve become as of now; I’m a disgrace. I’ve tried to change you for the better with intentions on helping you, but you refuse to be helped and I’m sorry. I’m desperate for change and I believe you can be altered for the benefits you lack. My arms are weak and cold from holding my sorry bones at night hoping the empty space would will itself with you at any moment that passes by with you sprinting furiously through the 400m of my brain. So hear me out. I’m only upset because I feel like I’ve lost you, and my efforts are so weak to compare to the attention you need. Love me, love me. I don’t want to bother, but to simply love you like I once did. Please?
You and I, have such a sexual need for one another, it’s foreign to others. It cannot be reached by anybody, and it won’t be as long as you and I are here at this climactic palace we’ve rested upon. Whether the words or actions do it for you, I’m your only piece to complete it. Others can’t try, but will horribly fail. I lust for you only, and for any other, none whatsoever. But for the correct function, the love must also be impeccable. To keep the thrill, to keep the climax interesting, the need to finish, engineered and heavily fueled by the infinite resource of love. Do you feel for me? Or do you just feel me? And you know what I mean by those questions. I don’t want the result of the urge to fuck me, I want the love making. I want something that can’t be reached. Us.
I feel like my life has taken a turn for the worst. I can’t stop it, and it’s all because of me. My poor decision making and my lack of focus has now taken such a negative hit on to me and I’m not too sure how to get up. Every aspect of my life right now seems like it’d be better off if I wasn’t there. I fight for what I need, and I fight desperately for the things I really want in my life. But it’s getting to a point where I feel like my fight isn’t enough to get where I wanna go. I pray to God that I’d do anything to have it all back everyday, and that I’d never do anything to lose it again. Ever. But it’s all wearing down on me, and my tears are thicker and I wanna just die. I love my family who give a fuck about how I am, the only girl who ever truly loved me and stayed by my side, and my best friend to listen to it all. But it just seems like I’m trying to fix myself, when all Im going to seem to be is broken. I just ask this of the world; am I honestly so awful to where everything I love has to disappear? All I want is to be loved by somebody, not nobody.
I’m in no rush, but at the same time I have little time. Your everything is what I’d like to be, and I’d like to go back to when I first spoken a few words to you and do what I did then to make you love me all over again. The opening days were always the best. In love, indefinitely: the beautiful result. Babe what ‘cha waiting for? And I wait patiently, waiting to strike, holding back, no mistakes. With you is bliss, and there’s nothing else I’d rather miss. Love.
You could be reading this or not, but it doesn’t matter. My life with you I’ll spend, you know that. Shit I’d give you the world if I had it. But due to current complications, there’s a dilemma. I’ve made this situation of ours once beautiful, to now tears of frustration between the two of us. But it’s okay. Everything will be okay. I have optimism. Of course no other female will satisfy me, and no other man can give you what I have provided, and what I will provide. Fuck the rest of the world, it’s simply just you and I. I’ve broken you down into a fragile little girl, from once a strong young woman. I apologize to you, for being a piece of shit. But I know that in this time, you will rebuild, reorganize, and give this another shot at forever. But I can promise you, forever it’ll be. You’ll be a woman I’ve fell in love with still, and I’ll be the man you’ve always owned. I don’t want to smother you, I want you to grow. I love you, you know.
On the news, we are exposed to stories that are beyond imaginable horror such as the one about the elementary school kids in Connecticut, and the young man who has had his life taken at 17 for simply playing his music loud. Before I go on, I do agree with the public; these men who have taken these lives deserve nothing less than hell brought to them. But just stay with me here, I have something you’ll wanna know. In the year of 2012 we’ve seen multiple stories like this one, where gunmen have walked into public places and have sprayed…
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I truly would like to thank the Lord for giving me the best gift anybody could ever have. Yes, the Lord does give me daily gifts, but this doesn’t even compare to the rest. He’s allowed me to wake up everyday, knowing he’s blessed me with 9 beautiful months with a beautiful young woman that’s going to last forever. Back in March, she and I began this forever and a day, and I’ve been thankful ever since. She is the best thing to ever happen to me, and the best thing that’ll continue to happen to me. I love her with all of my well-being, forever and always, not a day less ♥.
It’s been too long lovely, and you know so. I’m deprived, and it’s getting out of hand. Remember when we last made love? You know what I’m capable of. I wanna stimulate your mind, and I do it well. I lick on you, I suck on you, I kiss on you, and believe it’s all over. Neck, breast, stomach, all the way down. But enough of the little things, you know I wanna bring a pleasure-filled experience just erupt in the center of your body, but in the form of thrusting in and out, but not from on top of you or under you, but from behind you. You know how we do it, and we do it right. Doors closed and the light is dimming through the cracks of my blinds, shining on to the soft light skin of your back, and you know I always rub it down with my forceful touch yet gentle hands. Put it up, throw it back, yeah I’m in. Hands on your lower back, and ofcourse it’s arched. Face down looking back at me, I stroke the way you like. Deep in raw, sweat breaks out. I’m going to make it happen, and you know it’s going. Stroking deep, busting it wide open, you know I do it well. Hair pulling, restraining your hands on your hips, it’s closer. There it goes, I have your hair wrapped around my wrist, and it’s time. Stroking deep and you feel me coming back and forth. Slapping here and there, it’s mine I know. I hit the spot you like, and you let it go. It’s wrapped around me and I feel it all. You’ve made a mess. Switch spots with me. I’m laying down now, go ahead and get a lick.
Come to my home. When you’re not with me, you’re cold and I know so. I know you’re not comfortable without the comfort and warmth of my chest. Sleep in the comfort of my arms wrapped around your bare waist, and my lips consistently placing gentle kisses among your neck. It’s early in the morning, and my intentions with you are very clear. I bury my face in your chest, and crawl in between your legs and wake you up with the contact of my tongue to the smooth gentle skin of your chest. There you go, you’re awake now. I can see in how your legs are wrapped securely around my waist and the tone in your moan that I’ve triggered a spot of pleasure. You’re hot and I love it. Planting kisses on my neck as I do yours, you know what I want to do love. Slowly and carefully, those legs of yours are unwrapped from my waist, and I trickle my finger tips from your hips to your ankles, simply for the purpose of taking off my favorite pair of underwear of yours from your overheated body. I can see what my actions so far have done to you, and I know the ocean is coming, you’re beyond moist. If anything I’d like to kiss this ocean, and I’ve swam in it before, and I’m neither shy nor nervous of doing so again. Licking up, licking down, either way I’ve gotten you on a similar temperature as the sun. Leaving my mark on the thighs I’ve learned to love, I want to take you to a place we’ve given a promise. There is no walking; rushing is what we’re doing on the way. Anxious and hot and bothered, we walk through the entrance, and walk through the risen grass hand in hand. The trees and the vast body of water are shining this morning. No care in the world, we’re going to get ours in the morning brisk air. Laying down a spot carefully placed with a view of the lake makes things extraordinary now. I’ve taken a seat, and you remain standing yet giving me a promising stare you know I love. Clothes flying into the grass, and believe we don’t care, it’s all coming off. Mounting me backwards makes things interesting. My grip on your beautiful hips and bottom is tight, and then you begin. You know, this air is nothing when we get started. A slow yet hot rhythm has taken over, and I see it in those hips that you keep working on me. When you get tired, you know all you have to do is lean back and I’ll take control. Steam and hot air is what you can visibly see coming from us the more and more we go. Your long and loud moans have filled the place, and we’ve finished. Laying on the sheets naked, yet in love and cuddled up the both of us. I want to lay here until we get cold, which will be hours from now. I’m hungry. Feed me love? You know what I like to eat. Sit it on my face, watch how quickly I eat. No position could match the pleasure I bring you, but I know you enjoy it. My tongue thrusting, my hand securely around your thighs and my face is clearly dug in and I have no intent to stop. Maybe we won’t. Whatever we don’t do love, we will get too eventually. But all I’d like to do is give you a good fuck like you deserve.
That body is the center of my addiction to you, and kissing on it is simply a small step of my seduction over you. Stand on your feet, and try to stand tall while I kneel down, and give soft warm kisses to your soft flat stomach. Watching me work my slightly damp lips below your belly button, I take my finger tips, and slide off the red underwear you have secured around your curves, and you take your hand and rub it across my forehead, and then I kiss the front of your thighs, and open my mouth to stick my tongue aggressively into you, my favorite place to be. Kneel down with me and let me caress your neck with warm fast sucking on you. Let me grip your hips and pull you close to me, so I can continue to love you. I can feel your heart beating faster, and with one motion of my arms, I have turned you around and you’ve bent clearly over and I’ve felt around my area to work putting my palm on the lower part of your back, and beginning our experience.
I am sick and tired, of being sick and tired. I hate feeling like my mental being is being fucked with by you all of the time. I finally know what it is now. I have nothing to say but that I care, and who knows if you do. I just don’t know you. I’m going to leave it simple. I don’t deserve this; if anything, you deserve the angst and depression.
I want to give up. I have tried and tried and tried, and I continue to fail. I’ve been deprived of my true identity to whom I truly was and loved, but now I am simply just nothing. I’m tired. I’m sick and tired of who I am and claim to be. I don’t have much to say besides that I want to cry. I want to cry for about a week straight, and just let God hear my story, because he’s the only one who will listen and care. I am tired. Nobody cares, just.. nobody simply just does not care.